Reviews (2)

Informative, but not very good reading
For gay men considering adoption or surrogacy (I am one), this book was extremely informative and useful.It provides a sense of the obstacles to expect and issues to think about during the journey to fatherhood, and for that I am grateful. A page-turner! An Absorbing, inspirational mystery-thriller.
GETTING SIMON is a gripping odyssey following one man's obsession to create a family.Not just a "gay" book, this is a profoundly human, universal story.A must-read for anyone considering adoption or surrogacy. The book just keeps getting better and better, chapter by chapter. GETTING SIMON is a great, edge of the chair suspense thriller.Two men are turned away by the woman who promised to give them her baby in the delivery room.Out of the ashes of their despair rises a man obsessed with one thing only - finding the baby he names, "Simon."A ragtag parade of potential birthmothers flows in and out of their lives, raising our hopes, then dashing them when they leave.Even though we know the ending, wanting to find out how they get there makes this book so difficult to put down.I read it in two sittings.A script literally writes itself from this book and I can't wait until the movie comes out ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Family    2. Family & Relationships    3. Family/Marriage    4. Gay Studies    5. Gay fathers    6. Gay parents    7. Gender Studies    8. Morgen, Kenneth B    9. Parenting - Fatherhood    10. United States    11. Westrick, Sam    12. Gay studies (Gay men)   

Reviews (3)

No Limits for the Pleasure
Jaffe's novel is a courageous example of how fiction can challenge our ideas and emotions- creating new spaces where we have never been before. By exploring the intersections where ethnicity and sexual desire meet,by provoking us to reconsider the meaning of identity,Jaffe expands our horizons in dramatic ways. After reading this novel I realized "pleasure" is the final frontier of freedom: how much pleasure is our body allowed to seek, to feel, to enjoy? For centuries we have been living within the ethics of pain: suffering is validation. But Jaffe's book seems to suggest another standard: pleasure is redemption too;sex has a moral value within this novel. It reminded me of Nietzche's opinion: "pain wants to end, but pleasure wants repetition and eternity". And you want to read this book as soon as you can- if you dare!

Fun and fascinating
The Limits of Pleasure explores a vast reservoir of possibilities that exists between the constrictions of psychic and emotional pain and the expansiveness of physical sensation and desire. With great wit, insight, andimagination, Mr. Jaffe reveals in his characters a stunning inner landscape that pits smoldering, down-the-throat sensuality against heartfelt nostalgia for cultural awareness and familial belonging. Keep this book by the nightstand for erotic and psychical stimulation when the other side of the bed is absent a warm body to do the needful otherwise. Depth Mixed with Fun
Rare to find a novel that conveys deep meaning through humor.The Limits of Pleasure does that.It made me smile and think at the same time.And it was often arousing too, not such a bad thing, as this novel tries to point out.Feels very true to life.Deals with the sort of issues we wish were not there.Not always PC, but we aren't always politically correct in our heads and hearts and lower, are we? ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Americans    2. Amsterdam (Netherlands)    3. Death    4. Fiction    5. Fiction - General    6. Gay    7. General    8. Jewish gay men    9. Netherlands    10. Parents    11. Erotic fiction    12. Literature of special Gay interest    13. Modern fiction   

Reviews (2)

This book changed my life.
This book really helped me with my issue. My parents would never understand. Thanks to this book my gay issues were resolved. Thank you for this gay support.

Mom,Dad I'm Gay: How Families Negotiate Coming Out
This book says it all for those who are in the process of "coming out". Stop asking for more opinions from your closest gay friends (friends who are either already out or yet to come out) or your understanding girlfriends. Just read this book. Read more

Subjects:  1. Coming out (Sexual orientation    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    4. Family Psychotherapy    5. Family relationships    6. Gay Studies    7. Gay youth    8. Homosexuality    9. Lesbian Studies    10. Life Stages - Adolescence - Sexuality    11. Parents of gays    12. Psychology    13. Psychotherapy - Couples & Family    14. Family & relationships    15. Gay & Lesbian studies    16. Social, group or collective psychology   

Editorial Review

Most books about parents dealing with their child's announcement of his or her homosexuality are cast as "self-help" or educational. In the absence of informed, nonjudgmental material, these books are important, but more personal stories are also important. In Read more

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• Audiobook

Reviews (11)

One of the most powerful books I've ever read
This book should be required reading for all parents and all adolescents.It brings home with shocking clarity what are real family values.

Sweet, but I couldn't relate that well.
I found the book to be more a look into the priviledged life than a look into parents dealing with a gay son. The dialogue between parents and son were wonderful to read, but unfortunately, there was very little of it. The book begins with Steve, the Dews' 19 y.o. son, coming home to Massachusetts for the summer after his second year at Yale. After a few days at home, he comes out to his mother when she asks if he's dated any girls at school. His mother comforts him and tells him she still loves him. Later that night, she tells her husband, and he rushes to comfort Steve, also telling him that he will love him no matter what. Throughout the rest of the book, the author discusses the summer, Steve coming out to his younger brother, how the family deals with homophobia from schools and supposed friends, and their eventual involvement with PFLAG. As a lesbian, I was really looking forward to reading this book to get a glimpse of what my parents might have gone through when I first came out. Some of the dialogue ran true for me, but for the most part, I couldn't relate to the author's life enough to enjoy the book. Mostly I just couldn't relate to the family's lifestyle. The two sons both went to private schools and only saw their parents every few months. Then, during the summer when Steve came out, he was only home for a few weeks before the family drove down to VA to his brother's graduation. After the graduation, the brothers went off to Mexico for a Spanish-language immersion program for 6 weeks, leaving directly from D.C. While I appreciate Steve's mother writing a book about her son's homosexuality, the book was primarily about the author since her son was never around. When she said she was shocked that he was gay, I slapped my head thinking "Of course she didn't know! She never even saw him day to day, growing into a young adult!" I ended up feeling like it would have been a much more interesting book if the author actually spent more time with her son or if the book had been written by Steve's younger brother.

An experience of the heart
One of life's most painful (and unjustifiable) tragedies is a parent's total and absolute rejection of their gay or bisexual child solely on grounds of sexual orientation, and little of substantive value has been written on the psychological and social dynamics (many dysfunctional) that collide to rip a family soul to shreds. What literature does exist is usually in the form of some self-help advice that is admirable in intent but unlikely for practical application. "The Family Heart ..." is one of the few published works that doesn't go into scholarly psychoanalyzing about the implications when a gay child comes out to his parents. Instead, its author, Robb Forman Dew, shares with refreshing and candid honesty one family's reaction when its son came out. Its welcome candor rests in the dismantling the parental feeling that they "failed" their gay child, the fallacy of keeping the family "secret" and, all too frequently, the "why" for the total loss of parental love because of some prejudicial homophobia that also serves to send the gay child into self-exile, shame and self-loathing. Any family who has endured or is going through problems accepting their gay child can benefit from one family's actual experience and, as important, how it managed to embrace its child as a total product of more than his sexual orientation. In the end, "The Family Heart ..." empowers the parent of the gay child to say, "My child's gay. Big whoop!" With that conclusion, we finally get the idea that the "problem" with homosexuality isn't homosexuality: it's homophobia! And that, reader, is another form of prejudice and ignorance that serves only to inflict pain, degredation and isolation. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Audio Adult: Books On Tape    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Family relationships    4. Gay men    5. Parents of gays    6. Specific Groups - Male Gay Studies    7. Unabridged Audio - Autobiography/Biography    8. United States    9. Non-Classifiable   

Reviews (3)

Worthwhile contribution to the subject
Gay and lesbian parenting is a firecracker of an issue that won't go away even when gays and lesbians are free to raise children.This book is an intelligent examination of the subject, although as others have mentioned, it's not necessarily intended for the "lay" reader.Nonetheless, it's worth reading for anyone interested in the subject...

mistitled but still informative for the right audience
This book should really be titled "Lesbian and Gay Parenting" because the bulk of the book looks at the lesbian experience and the one chapters dealing with gays are looking at a book of fiction.The book is geared toward therapists I'd say because it talks a lot about cases and approaches for the therapist who is trying to help a lesbian couple decide to bring children into their family.Freud is relied on a bit too heavily for my tastes, but hey, I'm not the intended audience.

An intelligent and valuable collection of essays.
"Gay Parenting" examines the challenges and pleasures of parenting for lesbians and gay men. The essays focus on the psychological, legal, and political implications of gay parenting. A diverse range of contributors makes this a well rounded and thought provokingbook. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Children of gay parents    2. Gay Studies    3. Gay parents    4. Gay/Lesbian Nonfiction    5. Gender Studies    6. Lesbian Studies    7. Lesbian mothers    8. Parenting    9. Parenting - General    10. Social Science    11. United States    12. Gay & Lesbian studies   

Editorial Review

To her surprise, Betty DeGeneres, once a quiet housewife and mother, has become a gentle, consistent, and rational voice in the gay liberation movement. In Read more

Reviews (3)

Not the best
Having loved Betty's first book "Love, Ellen" I was surprised to be a little disappointed by this one. Still full of love and support, Betty does have good points to make; however, it gets to sounding like a broken record after a time. I think Betty's problem lies in the fact that society can sound a lot like a broken record on this subject, and feeling passionate about her own side, Betty states her points over and over again to compensate. Her style in this book is a bit more rushed and choppy. But, as it is a quick read, and has more specific advice spelled out for parents of gay children, I would still recommend the book to anyone interested in gay rights and coming out (from both sides of the fence--those doing it, and those hearing it).

A wonderful book filled with excellent advice
"Just a Mom" was a tremendous help to me when I was struggling to overcome my ignorance about my daughter's homosexuality.I highly recommend it to anyone who has a gay loved one.

Definitely More Than "Just A Mom"
For any gay child, reading more from Betty DeGeneres confirms that we want to adopt her as our own Mom.More personal disclosure than her first effort.The unfortunate breakup between Ellen and Anne makes the timing of this release a bit awkward though.For any parent who is struggling to deal with their child's sexual orientation, this is a must-read book. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. DeGeneres, Ellen    2. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    3. Family relationships    4. Gay Studies    5. Gays    6. General    7. Lesbian Studies    8. Parent and child    9. Parenting - General    10. Parents of gays    11. Science/Mathematics    12. Self-Help    13. Gay & Lesbian studies    14. Parenting    15. Motherhood   

Reviews (27)

Homosexuality is not "wrong" in the Bible.....
Although my heart goes out to this mother and the reviewer, Mary Mother God's Servant, the latter is simply wrong in stating that the Bible and God condemns homosexuality.There are several scholars and many books that will give you the true translation of the Bible based on the culture and what it meant at the time.A good book to start with is: What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality, by Daniel Helminiak.The mother in this story is indeed a very courageous woman to do what she has done, and don't worry, your son is in heaven, and I'm sure he understands and forgives you.

For "jolie1015"
The only "pain in homosexuality" is caused by those who insist on saying it is a "lifestyle", "a sin", "shameful". It is things like that which result in making life painful for gay people, particularly when said by parents to a child. How would you feel if your parents had brought you up telling you day after day that the way you feel or act is "wrong, sinful, an abomination"? Would that not hurt you? Well, that's why kids kill themselves, they can't deal with being told how horrible they are. And even if they don't take that final step, many are scarred for life.
Gut Wrenching, Could not put it down
As soon as a child comes out to their parents this book should become required reading for the parents. It shows the struggles of a boy between his religion, family and his own sexuality. Somehow the family considered themselves the same as their religion and forgot their role as parent and unconditional love. The son paid for it from his agony and eventual suicide. This book will rip at you, it is an emotional read. It is a necessary read. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Biography / Autobiography    2. Biography/Autobiography    3. Diaries    4. Family relationships    5. Gay men    6. General    7. Homosexuality    8. Men's Studies - Masculinity    9. Parent And Child    10. Suicidal behavior    11. United States    12. Griffith, Mary    13. Griffith, Robert Warren   

Editorial Review

If the only time you think you've seen a transsexual is on the Jerry Springer show, Noelle Howey's thoughtful, funny memoir of her suburban childhood with a cross-dressing dad may leave you wondering where all the fireworks are. The first half of Read more

Reviews (25)

It's all about the tone she takes.
I am a great fan of using humor to deliver painful truths in writing, but this book goes too far in that direction. The writer's tone is unbearably flippant at times. She seems to hold her life and the lives of her parents at arm's length where she can giggle at it all with shoulder-shrugging, eye-rolling smirks.When dealing with her own childhood, that approach is fine, but I was taken aback by the writer's overly jokey tone when talking about her mother's adolescence and her father's painful childhood. That is probably one way of dealing with the confusion and pain of her father's life and the distance that caused in their relationship. Thankfully, late in the story, her father goes through his transformation and so does she. When her humor finally fails her, she also relaxes her frenetic "let's-play-it-for-laughs" posture. As a reader, I was relieved. All in all, this is a fascinating story about gender that raises as many questions as it answers. The writer's eye for telling detail brings her past alive, and she is one funny woman, so I do recommend it despite the snarky tone. Also, how many other people can tell this story? That alone makes this book worth it.

I expected more
When I saw this book, I expected it to be facinating.Afterall, how could it fail? Somehow, it did for me.I was very disappointed, because I wanted to compare this family with another.A good friend of mine went though the process of changing gender from male to female and since we worked nights together, I spent a lot of time talking to her about the process. Although I did finish the book, it won't be one that I'll need to talk about.Howey seemed to have left the characters incomplete.I found the end to be rushed.Howey dealt with her major depressive episode in the last 30 pages!Not one of my favorite books and not one I'd recommend for others.

I came expecting a sordid thrill and left with a touching and well-done family portrait
The true story of a woman who grew up with a cross-dressing dad, who later became a transgendered woman, is bound to be an attention getter.I picked this up expecting to get some nice shocking details about alternative lifestyles, but instead I was touched with a very complete family portrait.Howey dove deep into her mother's and her father's childhoods, their formative sexual relationships, and how they were shaped into who they were as adults.She paints a complete picture of three different transformations into womanhood--those of her mother, herself, and her father.
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Subjects:  1. Biography & Autobiography    2. Biography / Autobiography    3. Biography/Autobiography    4. Childhood Memoir    5. Children of transsexual parent    6. Children of transsexual parents    7. Family Relationships    8. Gay men    9. Personal Memoirs    10. Specific Groups - Male Gay Studies    11. Transsexual parents    12. United States    13. Women    14. Literary    15. Children of gay parents    16. Gay fathers    17. Alternative Sexual Behavior    18. Parent And Child   

Reviews (6)

happy fairy land
Welcome to happy fairy land where every problem can be solved by a friendly talk. Then close the book and walk back out to the real world, where anyone who is different is depised and most people just won't listen to each other. It would help more to eat this book than to read it - at least it would add fiber to your diet.

Good Book
Great book - from the point of view of a young daughter bragging to classmates that she has three fathers - the reactions follow. Bonus - book has multicultural characters.

Don't do it.
Well, well well. I thought this book would be a good idea to enligten my beautiful son Seth to my new found alternative lifestyle. I came out just three months ago, after three failed marraiges and one undelivered mail order bride. I gave lil' Seth this book to try to help him understand whyDwight and Daddy are always going to the golf course in shorts.Let mejust tell you, Seth won't even look at me now. He's unresponsive to myfatherly affections and is almost catatonic when I pick him up for myweekend visits. It's like parenting a turnip. So all I have to say, is waituntil your child sees enough Jerry Springer shows to understand thatDaddy's gay.In conclusion, I feel that this book has ruined myrelationship with my son - my pride and joy - for the remainder of mynatural life. I think I'm going to have to buy a kitten. In retrospect Ifeel I would have had a better chance of showing my son the benifits of mylifestyle without the aid of your phony book!Love one another, and tryto be open minded. -James. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Children's 9-12    2. Family - Parents    3. Fiction    4. Gay parents    5. Homosexuality    6. Parent and child    7. Social Situations - Homosexuality    8. Sociology   

Reviews (11)

More than you know!
I have read Abigail Garner's book, Families Like Mine, twice. Not only does this book cover the basics of parenting and being parented by gays and lesbians, it delves into the emotional quandry from all sides, fairly. This is not an old book about an old subject, but an excellent resource for anyone reaching out for understanding and guidence about the LGBT life. Considering the current political attempt to stop civil rights, this book will show anyone how much we need to understand and accept all people as "equal under the law." No one can truly walk in another's shoes, but Ms. Garner easily maps the way, page by page, to clear and educated thinking. Buy it, share it, pass it on!

We need a verbal revolution!This book is worth every minute spent reading it!
As Abigail Garner says, we need a verbal revolution when discussing our relationships to gay family members...but she gives us a good start in this book.How do we describe those most important to us- for example, is a father's partner a step-father? The 'other dad'? Dad's friend? etc. None of those descriptions seems quite right when describing special relationships such as these, and it's no wonder some children end up calling their parents by their first names, or feel awkward when discussing them.I never realized what an issue this was until I read this book.
Not alone
I didn't meet anyone my age who has gay parents until I was 33. Reading this book was amazing - seeing how much I had in common with others, when I'd thought of myself as being the only one who'd had some of these experiences. Definitely recommended if you'd like to read real stories about families with gay parents, that aren't the scare stories of the religious right or the artificial "we're just like everyone else" stories you see in the press. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Alternative Family    2. Children of gay parents    3. Family & Relationships    4. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    5. Family/Marriage    6. Gay Studies    7. General    8. Lesbian Studies    9. Family & Relationships / General   

Reviews (3)

One of the first (& only) books to address midlife lesbians
This is an interesting book that covers such topics as: the impact of midlife on the lesbian couple, friendships at midlife, taking care of dying parents, dating, chemical dependency and parenting. Informative, Intriguing, Entertaining!
This book is an excellent analysis of key issues about an often-overlooked segment of the population.Lesbians at midlife experience similar struggles as those of heterosexual women.However, their challenges are further exacerbated by their sexual orientation.The book's various segments focuses on various aspects of these lesbian midlife issues in a very informative and entertaining way.Particularly notable is the segment entitled "Lesbian dating and courtship from young adulthood to midlife".It was extremely interesting and brought up quite a few points about the way women, in particular lesbians, perceive courtship and dating and the roles people play.It is books like these that help bring much needed awareness about the lesbian population to the public in general.I highly recommend it.

Informative, Intriguing, Entertaining!
This book is an excellent analysis of key issues about an often-overlooked segment of the population.Lesbians at midlife experience similar struggles as those of heterosexual women.However, their challenges are further exacerbated by their sexual orientation.The book's various segments focuses on various aspects of these lesbian midlife issues in a very informative and entertaining way.Particularly notable is the segment entitled "Lesbian dating and courtship from young adulthood to midlife".It was extremely interesting and brought up quite a few points about the way women, in particular lesbians, perceive courtship and dating and the roles people play.It is books like these that help bring much needed awareness about the lesbian population to the public in general.I highly recommend it. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Family Relationships    2. Gay/Lesbian Nonfiction    3. General    4. Interpersonal Relations    5. Lesbian Studies    6. Lesbian couples    7. Lesbian mothers    8. Middle aged lesbians    9. Middle-aged lesbians    10. Social Science    11. Sociology    12. United States   

Reviews (13)

Billy's Boy
This is an excellent continuation (end??) of the Front Runner Story.I throughly enjoyed it.The book was in perfect condition.I hope Pat Nell Warren will write another book along this line.She is a superb writer.

Weaker Third Outing For The Sive Clan.
The third and perhaps final chapter that started with "The Front Runner" is a well meaning but average book. Patricia Nell Warren seems to move as effortlessly into the skin of a thirteen year old boy as she did a thirty and then forty year old man. But that's what was also the disappointment to me. Taking the perspective of John Williams, Billy Sive's son, the book felt like an advanced young adult book that subtly conveyed messages of acceptance and tolerance.The strength of the novel is on the chracters we already know like Harlan, and Chino. But this isn't their story, and they're merely supporting characters in John's coming of age drama. Over all I enjoyed the book, it just didn't captivate me like the "Front Runner' originally did, and people expecting that kind of story will be disappointed.

Don't Bother
Unfortunately, it goes from good to worse to "don't bother".Skip all sequels to Front Runner.The writing is trite, the stories disappoint, and the books are even worth saving.It's unfortunate, but true.Save your money. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Fiction    2. Fiction - General    3. Gay    4. Lesbian mothers    5. Popular American Fiction    6. Teenage boys    7. Modern fiction   

Reviews (2)

Refreshing look at one version of the American families
Finally a book looks at debunking the myth that family=heterosexual married Christian middle or upper middle class.Just like we often forget that a family can be just a mother or just a father, it can also be two mothers or two fathers.The author strives to critique our assumptions about family structure, living arrangements, finances, wills, etc. when we are talking about a family that "mainstream" culture ignores or demonizes, kinda like the other reviewer who just had to throw in homophobia into the response.I recommend this book.

about time
This book was wonderful to help understand how to be a better family. Too bad it is a bout homosexuals, because i do not care for them. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Family    2. Gay Studies    3. Gay parents    4. Gay rights    5. Gender Studies    6. Lesbian Studies    7. Social Science    8. Sociology    9. Sociology - Marriage & Family    10. United States    11. Family & relationships    12. Gay & Lesbian studies    13. Human rights    14. USA   

Reviews (1)

A Powerful Argument for Same-Sex Parenting
Robert Bernstein knows how to make a point: let the subjects speak for themselves!This well prepared, eminently readable book tackles the currently high profile topic of not only same-sex marriages but more poignantly same-sex parenting.In an introduction Bernstein presents a brief history of his topic and a pr�cisthat informs us that the families discussed in the book are not randomly chosen: the families here represented are "leaders in bringing about the social change that is gradually easing the way to their acceptance."And so we are fairly informed that the contents of this valuable document will be skewed toward the hard work of some prime examples of same-sex parents and their respective children with the hope that reading these varying experiences will foster understanding and appreciation for the valiant work of the subjects chosen.
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Subjects:  1. Child Care/Parenting    2. Family & Relationships    3. Gay Studies    4. Gay fathers    5. Gay parents    6. Gender Studies    7. Homosexuality    8. Lesbian Studies    9. Lesbian mothers    10. Parent And Child    11. Parenting - General    12. Sociology    13. Sociology - Marriage & Family    14. United States    15. Gay & Lesbian studies    16. Parenthood   

Subjects:  1. Sociology    2. Homosexuality    3. Parenting    4. United States    5. Family relationships    6. Gays    7. Parent and child    8. Family / Parenting / Childbirth   

Subjects:  1. Children of gay parents    2. Family relationships    3. Gay/Lesbian Nonfiction    4. General    5. Lesbian Studies    6. Lesbian couples    7. Lesbian mothers    8. Lesbians    9. Motherhood    10. Parenting - Motherhood    11. Performing Arts    12. Social Science    13. United States    14. Family & Relationships / General    15. Family & relationships    16. USA   

Subjects:  1. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    2. Gay/Lesbian Nonfiction    3. Lesbian Studies    4. Lesbian mothers    5. Parenting - Motherhood    6. Social Science    7. Family & Relationships/Parenting - Motherhood    8. Sex & Gender/Lesbian    9. Social Science / Lesbian Studies   

Subjects:  1. Adult children of aging parents    2. Aging parents    3. Biography    4. Biography & Autobiography    5. Biography / Autobiography    6. Biography/Autobiography    7. Care    8. Caregivers    9. General    10. Parenting - General    11. Personal Memoirs    12. Specific Groups - Male Gay Studies    13. United States    14. Biography & Autobiography / General   

Features

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Reviews (32)

Brave New Parent
This book is a hilarious, touching and inspirational bit of contemporary Americana.Uncle Eddy reveals the terrors and joys of sudden parenthood with the fearlessness of someone who has walked through fire.And on some level he already has, having survived the epidemic of our generation: AIDS in America.I hope that this book reminds readers that parenting can be a madcap adventure, but the goal should always remain to do the best job we can of raising kids that aren't jerks.Eddy does his very best, while scribbling notes in every available margin.Tiffany is a handful but also a delight and we can't help but come away feeling that she will ultimately be a remarkable woman.

An Unselfish Life
Flying in the face of a gay culture in which issues such as child-rearing and putting a child through high school or college often take a backseat to focusing on your pet, your work, and the luxury of child-free vacations, Ed Wintle's BREAKFAST WITH TIFFANY offers a refreshingly unselfish portrait of a gay man no longer young but not quite middle aged, willing to set aside the rituals typical of so many of his gay contemporaries--dinners with friends, occasional visits to the local bar, and career--and instead offer to care for his troubled 13-year-old niece Tiffany when her mother can no longer take care of the girl herself. When the relationship between uncle and niece gestates into that of "father and daughter," tensions, frustrations, and problems of communication inevitably flare up, the details of which are recounted honestly and charmingly by the author, who is forced not only to confront the vicissitudes of his niece's life, but those of his own, permanently altering his point of view. The result is an entertaining and highly readable memoir that is recommended for anyone interested not only in a second-generation AIDS culture in a time of flux, but for anyone thinking about or actually raising a child in a stressful and difficult time in our country's history.

Brilliant portrayal of instant parenthood
As a social worker, I read this book with an eye toward authenticity in the dynamic exchanges between uncle and teen neice. I found the depictions of their periodic conflicts to be very moving and authentic. I had a lump in my throat as I recalled simiiar moments in my own upbringing, as well as moments of dawning self-awareness as an adult charged with the responsibility of providing guidance to a child. The joy in reading this book was the light touch of levity used to ease the reader through some awfully trying moments. It was simply an exhilarating read!
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Subjects:  1. Biography    2. Biography & Autobiography    3. Biography / Autobiography    4. Biography/Autobiography    5. Family Relationships    6. Gay parents    7. General    8. New York    9. New York (N.Y.)    10. New York (State)    11. Personal Memoirs    12. Teenage girls    13. Fiction   

Reviews (4)

A Gem Not To Be Missed!
Terry Wolverton's debut novel, BAILEY'S BEADS, is one of the most extraordinary and engrossing books I've read in some time.This moving, wise, and provocative novel is the story of Bryn Redding, a Los Angeles writer who lies comatose following an auto accident.At her bedside are Bryn's lover (Djuna) as well as Bryn's mother (Vera) and through their alternating points of view the reader soon comes to discover that Bryn is not quite the person either of the two grieving women thought she was.While drawing the reader into the compelling plot Wolverton simultaneously explores that common human tendency to feel we actually "know" another person when in fact we are often only familiar with a select part of the whole...or we are merely interpreting their behavior...or simply projecting our own experience onto them. This extremnely well written novel accomplishes this all in a quiet and subtle manner which haunted this reader long after finishing the book.It's a real gem not to be missed.

yeah, it's unique but...
I enjoyed the story of Djuna, Brynn and Vera, and I appreciated the fact that all three sides of the story were told. It's especially useful to present the poetry and novel of a character who can't speak for herself; this is very clever. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy the novel-within-the-novel, which was called Splinters. The second half of the book is really where it all comes together, and it was only then that I really came to care about the characters. Wolverton is clearly a talented and gifted writer, but I couldn't fathom a whole lot of sympathy for Brynn, the woman in a coma whom everyone is rallying around.

Totally awesome and it deserve more than 5 stars !
The best book I've ever read and believe me, I've read many. I can't help but am immensely impressed by the unusual writing style employed by the writer, Terry Wolverton. In fact, once you started reading the book, there's no turning back. The book is extremely well written with the emotions of each and every characters that follow after Bryn's (also known as Brenda) car accident, carefully and beautifully displayed.There are other characters like Bryn's mother, Vera, her lover, Djuna and her students and friends revolving around in the story. The most amazing thing about the story, which is not just like any of those involving a lover's and many loved ones' exaggerated display of emotional feelings and memories that always seem to follow after an accident and with a very predictable ending, is the way how the writer makes it a point to suck the readers' mind and soul into it. As you read page by page, you actually feel that at one moment, you're Bryn, and the next moment, you're either the hilarious but faithful friend, Emily or the distraught mother, and worst of all, the dishearten girlfriend, whom had been mercilessly 'erased' from Bryn's memory after she regained her consciousness... You feel the pain, the struggling of each characters' emotions of having been brought together once again because of the accident and makes you realised how in real life, we have missed so many chances of treasuring our loved ones until we start to lose them, or the chances of finally being able to realise how we have mistreated or have taken advantages of some people, how we can actually know a person more deeply if given the right chance to try...it can be between a mother and a daughter as in this case, or just anybody, like you and I, in many of our lives' circumstances and how we wished if it have been the other way, things might have been much better... After reading the book, I suddenly have this huge urge to cry over these missed chances and to start reading Anderson's fairy tale, 'The Snow Queen'. I did. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Coma    2. Fiction    3. Fiction - General    4. Lesbian    5. Lesbians    6. Mothers and daughters    7. Patients    8. Popular American Fiction    9. Fiction / General