Subjects:  1. Coming out (Sexual orientation    2. Gay Studies    3. Gay/Lesbian Nonfiction    4. Gays    5. Homosexuality    6. Human Sexuality    7. Identity    8. Lesbian Studies    9. Lesbians    10. Social Science    11. Sociology    12. Sociology - General    13. Gay studies (Gay men)   

Reviews (4)

Excellent Anthology of Coming Out stories!
I was very moved by this collection of stories by gay authors. It's a book you'll read again and again. I especially liked the way the book starts with essays about coming out in the 50's and moves up to present day experiences. Gay men will see something of themselves in the stories, and others will come to understand what it's like for a gay person to deal with their sexuality.

Excellent Book
I am a lesbian who also enjoys reading books about gay boys & men.Coming out stories are of special interest to me. Read This Book and Come Out Wherever You Are!!!!
A must read for those who have come out, are coming out, haven't come out, or those who want to try to understand those who are coming out. You'll laugh, you'll cry! Better than cats--you'll read it again and again and again.... Reading this book, it was great to find out that different thoughts, feelings, experiences that occured through my coming out were shared by others, even those much older than I! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Biography    2. Biography/Autobiography    3. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    4. Gay Studies    5. Gay men    6. Gender Studies    7. Men's Studies - General    8. Sexual behavior    9. United States    10. Modern fiction    11. Social Science / Gay Studies   

Reviews (4)

became gay? a review of the title, not the book.
what's up with the title of this book? is the author first and foremost trying imply that people become homosexual rather than realize that they are homosexual? i spent to many years wishing i were not gay(those days are gladly over), so maybe that is why i found fault with this title.but if i hear some dumbass tell me that i chose, or became gay, as if by some thought-out, conscious decision, flames are gonna start shooting out of my big gay head.

Very dry and way over explored
Ritch C. Savin-Williams takes a collection of coming out stories and dissects them to the brink of insanity.If you are expecting to pick up a book that has full length coming out stories or even a good question and answer read this is NOT it.Many times the longest quoted entry is only a paragraph and that just gives Ritch more fodder to ramble on.He goes thru step by step and describes what percentages of his survey participants had the same feelings and how many of them didn't with no end result list.You are made to somewhat keep a running tally in your head of how many had sex with women and of those many how many didn't have a father and of those, how many cry when watching Old Yeller and out of those how many are now in a relationship blah blah blah.There is little or no way to extract significant useful information from this book.It is all anecdotal and dry.

great
This is probably the best book on gay issues I have ever read! I do not buy those kind of books very often, but this was definitely worth the money. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Bisexual youth    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation    3. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    4. Gay Studies    5. Gay youth    6. Gender Studies    7. Life Stages - Adolescence    8. Men's Studies - General    9. Sociology    10. United States    11. Young bisexual men    12. Young gay men    13. Gay studies (Gay men)    14. Other prose: from c 1900 -    15. Social Science / Sociology / General    16. USA    17. c 1980 to c 1990    18. c 1990 to c 2000   

Reviews (3)

A MUST READ
When I finished this book, I had a new respect for Judy Nelson. Witheverything that has been said and printed about her she still finds it inherself to let us in and get to know her a little better. Since the onlythings that we really knew before her books, was that she left her husbandand kids for another woman, she took alot of heat for that from both sides,gay and straight. She took even more heat when the two women parted companyand her first book. It takes real strength and character to come throughall of this and still refuse to tear Martina apart like she has done toJudy. I for one really thank Ms. Nelson for her honesty.

Absolutely "Riveting"
This book was magnificent.If you have ever been in love and lost that love, this is the book you needto read.I have read her first book"Love Match"and it was wonderful, but this book is "double" wonderful.She seems at peace finally and once again happy with her life.And if anyone deserves it, it is Ms. Nelson. She helped me in my time of crisis.I lost someone very special to me, and I read her book.The courage she exemplifies, made me feel like I had a friend to talk to.She is a wonderful person, makes you feel like she is your best friend.I truly hope she writes another wonderful book.

What a book!!!
This book, is a definate for anyone who needs the courage to make difficult choices in their lives. Judy Nelson has become a heroine of mine just for her convictions and her honesty. I really related to her. I read Love Match but found her changed and "still" in this one. I wish she would write more!!! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Biography    2. Biography / Autobiography    3. Biography/Autobiography    4. Case studies    5. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    6. Lesbians    7. Specific Groups - Lesbians    8. United States    9. Biography: general    10. Navratilova, Martina    11. Nelson, Judy    12. Tennis   

Reviews (7)

ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS!!
I was hesitant to begin this book for fear of what I would learn.Once I began, I could not put it down.I finished it in ONE day !! It is definitely a positive conversation piece and an eye-opener to all closed eyes, or shall I say peekers into understanding homosexuality.Thank you Ben Setfrey for enlightening me and best wishes to you and your Mr. Right.

Thought provoking and humorous!!!
I had serious reservations about reading the book because I'm a heterosexual, Christian female. I was wondering how the author was going to set me straight. Needless to say, my curiosity got the best of me so I decided to read the book. I not only found it extremely interesting, but it had me laughing out loud. The author's sense of humor was outstanding (especially the "Sex Education chapter" which included Ms. Phattas and Ms. Knapps)! Furthermore, Benn Setfrey has a common sense approach to real life situations and he speaks from the heart. It is definitely a "Must Read" for all regardless of race, sex, class, age or sexual orientation.

Enlightening for Parents of Gay Offsprings
After reading Benn's book, I am much more aware of what young gay children are going through at the hands of our churches, the society at large, and (God forbids) at home!As an African American woman,I have endured oppression as long as I can remember by our society, our church, and our men.I have been too busy thinking about my own pain to give much thought to the pain of our young (and old) gay persons in our society. Many of us believe that homosexuals choose to be gay,but that race and gender is not a choice, so in effect, gay people bring their pain upon themselves.Benn straightens us all out here and gives us a lot to think about when he tells us, Living gay is a choice, but "Being gay" is not a choice. Benn you have opened my eyes, ears and heart with your very provocative book.This book is a "must read" for all of us, gay, straight, old and young alike, but more importantly, for parents who are ignorant as I was, to many of the challenges that young gay people are up against on a daily basis brought on by the forces in our society that we whole dear, i.e. church, family, community andour government. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. African American gay men    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Gay men    4. Handbooks & Manuals    5. Personal Growth - Self-Esteem    6. Self-Help    7. Sexuality & Gender Studies    8. Social Science / Gay Studies    9. United States    10. African American gays    11. Civil rights    12. Prejudices    13. Relationships   

Reviews (7)

A guide to self-acceptance
One of life's real (and unnecessary) tragedies is the closeted gay man who is regimented by years of homophobic conditioning and, as a result, can neither accept or even like himself. If he can't like himself, then, how can he let anyone else like him? Orland Outland's "Coming Out ..." is the complement of Michelangelo Signorile's classic "Outing Youself ..." and the unofficial second chapter to Rik Isensee's "Reclaiming Your Life: The Gay Man's Guide to Love, Self-Acceptance and Trust," all three of which extend "permission" for the closeted gay man in torment to let go of the pain from the years of emotional exile, self-rejection and loathing, and get on to a life of fulfillment. The "condition" of Orland's book is that the gay man is ready to come out to family and friends, and the works by Signorile and Isensee are more intended to help the gay man out himself to himself. Once that monumental step has been taken, Orland first renders tips to come to terms with family and friends and then how to establish a healthy gay lifestyle. Of the latter, we get a road map of how to navigate all those questions that today's gay man asks (and they're not too much different than the heterosexual guy's questions), like whether or not to do the bar scene, how safe is safe sex, is political activism advised and where to look for that special other guy. Written in a friendly and warm prose, Outland's self-help guide - like those from Signorile and Isensee - nonetheless doesn't treat jovially the life-altering experience the gay man will undoubtedly have when he comes out. Far from being "fun" and light-in-the-loafers (no pun), "Coming Out ..." is actually a journey of the fragile human heart that helps the gay man begin to get rid of all that internalized homophobic garbage and get on with the business of being happy for once. A wise investment!

A complete handbook for the gay man....
Many words came to my mind after reading 'Coming Out: A handbook for men' -amazing, thought-provoking, honest, refreshing, and basically just a big WOW! I don't ever recall reading a book about the gay world that was so honest and detailed in it's description of what being gay is all about and the gay lifestyle in general. The Book That Helped Me Come Out
For years I strugged with my sexuality, denying it to others while trying to see if I was really gay. And I decided that I was tired of feeling so in doubt so I found this book. And I'm glad I did. This books explains in plain English withoout the psychobabble about how to embrase one's sexuality, understand it and gives a unique and definate view of being gay. One of the reasons its so hard coming out is because people don't know how to be gay. This book explainsactivities and gives clear definitions to some gay terms and such. This book was excellent and I recommend it to anyone coming out. It helped me come out in a very positive way and everything turned out great. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Coming out (Sexual orientation    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Gay Studies    4. Gay men    5. General    6. Life skills guides    7. Multicultural Education    8. Social Science    9. Sociology    10. United States    11. Gay studies (Gay men)   

Features

• Bargain Price

Subjects:  1. Coming out (Sexual orientation    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Gay Studies    4. Gay liberation movement    5. Homosexuality    6. Outing (Sexual orientation)    7. Social Science    8. Sociology    9. United States    10. Social Science / Lesbian Studies    11. Bargain   

Reviews (2)

Hilarious, honest, true to life, sadly underappreciated
I was doing random subject searches at the library and came across this. Although early on it is full of passages that seem completely "lesbian only", it quickly turns into the reminiscences of a slacker 30something Angeleno doing rather funny and mundane things.
knock-down, drag-out fodder for your brain
The Wrestling Party will most likely be touted as a salacious lesbian extravaganza or pop culture commentary, but it's much more than that. Williams expertly pulls the reader in and drags us through her physical and mental worlds. Like all great writers, she remains vulnerable throughout. Whatever your gender, sexual orientation or body identity politics, this book is witty, tender and heartbreakingly romantic. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. 20th century    2. Authors, American    3. Biography    4. Biography / Autobiography    5. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    6. General    7. Lesbian Studies    8. Lesbians    9. Social Science    10. Sociology    11. Specific Groups - Lesbians    12. United States    13. Williams, Bett    14. Biography: general    15. General & Literary Fiction    16. Literature of special Lesbian interest    17. Social Science / Lesbian Studies   

Subjects:  1. Brothers and sisters    2. Case studies    3. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    4. Family relationships    5. Gay Studies    6. Gays    7. Gender Studies    8. Lesbian Studies    9. Siblings    10. Social Science    11. Sociology    12. United States    13. Family & relationships    14. Gay & Lesbian studies   

Reviews (5)

AMAZING. The most Spiritual poetry book I've read!
The thing that a lot of people sometimes forget about poetry is that when it's good, the poems become a part of your soul. Poems lift you up when you need lifting and bring you down when you need grounding.
why isn't it in more stores!?my favorite book!
~*AMAZING*~ My girlfriend loved TALKING IN THE DARK and MADE me read it, which I don't usually do.She said I would like it because I like poetry, which is sort of true lately.But it took me months to find it in a store before my mom bought it online for me... since I don't have a credit cared, duh.But it's great.I haven't read anything like it before.And my girlfriend likes me to read her parts, especially SHHH and HISTORYS.Guys, buy this book for your girlfriends (or boyfriends).

Touching life experiences with surprising vulnerability
I'm a little confused as to this book's classification as YA. Sure, there were sections that dealt with his childhood, but the most straightforward, poignant, and powerful poems were those that dealt with very mature topics: specifically, *after* he graduated from high school.
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Subjects:  1. Children's Books/Young Adult Misc. Nonfiction    2. Children: Young Adult (Gr. 7-9)    3. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    4. Gay youth    5. Juvenile Nonfiction    6. Poetry    7. Poetry (Young Adult)    8. Poetry - General    9. Social Issues - Emotions & Feelings    10. Social Issues - Homosexuality    11. Juvenile Nonfiction / Poetry / General   

Reviews (3)

Not what I was hoping for
This book was a huge disappointment.I am working with a young man experiencing some angst related to his sexual orientation.He was hopeful that this book might be useful as a serious discussion of his experience and feelings.He also hoped to find practical advice and help.Unfortunately, the first thing one notices in flipping through the book is numerous pictures of shirtless, muscular young male models.In at least one of these pictures, the model's pants were unzipped low enough to display a good deal of pubic hair.If the author wishes to publish a book of soft-core gay porn, that is fine, but the book should be advertised as such, rather than as a informative look at the gay experience.
It's Worth Reading
If you have questions about being a gay or bisexual teen, this book has the answers. It's informative, yet interesting and has some great pics too! Check it out! Read it! Live it!

This book is excellent!
I am 18 years old and recently came out. This book is filled with useful information. It's funny, well-written and informative. It offers answers to many questions relating to being young and gay...I recommend it! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Attitudes    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation    3. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    4. Gay Studies    5. Gay teenagers    6. Gender Studies    7. Life Stages - Adolescence    8. Life skills guides    9. Social Science    10. Sociology    11. United States   

Reviews (2)

This book changed my life.
This book really helped me with my issue. My parents would never understand. Thanks to this book my gay issues were resolved. Thank you for this gay support.

Mom,Dad I'm Gay: How Families Negotiate Coming Out
This book says it all for those who are in the process of "coming out". Stop asking for more opinions from your closest gay friends (friends who are either already out or yet to come out) or your understanding girlfriends. Just read this book. Read more

Subjects:  1. Coming out (Sexual orientation    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    4. Family Psychotherapy    5. Family relationships    6. Gay Studies    7. Gay youth    8. Homosexuality    9. Lesbian Studies    10. Life Stages - Adolescence - Sexuality    11. Parents of gays    12. Psychology    13. Psychotherapy - Couples & Family    14. Family & relationships    15. Gay & Lesbian studies    16. Social, group or collective psychology   

Editorial Review

Most books about parents dealing with their child's announcement of his or her homosexuality are cast as "self-help" or educational. In the absence of informed, nonjudgmental material, these books are important, but more personal stories are also important. In Read more

Features

• Audiobook

Reviews (11)

One of the most powerful books I've ever read
This book should be required reading for all parents and all adolescents.It brings home with shocking clarity what are real family values.

Sweet, but I couldn't relate that well.
I found the book to be more a look into the priviledged life than a look into parents dealing with a gay son. The dialogue between parents and son were wonderful to read, but unfortunately, there was very little of it. The book begins with Steve, the Dews' 19 y.o. son, coming home to Massachusetts for the summer after his second year at Yale. After a few days at home, he comes out to his mother when she asks if he's dated any girls at school. His mother comforts him and tells him she still loves him. Later that night, she tells her husband, and he rushes to comfort Steve, also telling him that he will love him no matter what. Throughout the rest of the book, the author discusses the summer, Steve coming out to his younger brother, how the family deals with homophobia from schools and supposed friends, and their eventual involvement with PFLAG. As a lesbian, I was really looking forward to reading this book to get a glimpse of what my parents might have gone through when I first came out. Some of the dialogue ran true for me, but for the most part, I couldn't relate to the author's life enough to enjoy the book. Mostly I just couldn't relate to the family's lifestyle. The two sons both went to private schools and only saw their parents every few months. Then, during the summer when Steve came out, he was only home for a few weeks before the family drove down to VA to his brother's graduation. After the graduation, the brothers went off to Mexico for a Spanish-language immersion program for 6 weeks, leaving directly from D.C. While I appreciate Steve's mother writing a book about her son's homosexuality, the book was primarily about the author since her son was never around. When she said she was shocked that he was gay, I slapped my head thinking "Of course she didn't know! She never even saw him day to day, growing into a young adult!" I ended up feeling like it would have been a much more interesting book if the author actually spent more time with her son or if the book had been written by Steve's younger brother.

An experience of the heart
One of life's most painful (and unjustifiable) tragedies is a parent's total and absolute rejection of their gay or bisexual child solely on grounds of sexual orientation, and little of substantive value has been written on the psychological and social dynamics (many dysfunctional) that collide to rip a family soul to shreds. What literature does exist is usually in the form of some self-help advice that is admirable in intent but unlikely for practical application. "The Family Heart ..." is one of the few published works that doesn't go into scholarly psychoanalyzing about the implications when a gay child comes out to his parents. Instead, its author, Robb Forman Dew, shares with refreshing and candid honesty one family's reaction when its son came out. Its welcome candor rests in the dismantling the parental feeling that they "failed" their gay child, the fallacy of keeping the family "secret" and, all too frequently, the "why" for the total loss of parental love because of some prejudicial homophobia that also serves to send the gay child into self-exile, shame and self-loathing. Any family who has endured or is going through problems accepting their gay child can benefit from one family's actual experience and, as important, how it managed to embrace its child as a total product of more than his sexual orientation. In the end, "The Family Heart ..." empowers the parent of the gay child to say, "My child's gay. Big whoop!" With that conclusion, we finally get the idea that the "problem" with homosexuality isn't homosexuality: it's homophobia! And that, reader, is another form of prejudice and ignorance that serves only to inflict pain, degredation and isolation. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Audio Adult: Books On Tape    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Family relationships    4. Gay men    5. Parents of gays    6. Specific Groups - Male Gay Studies    7. Unabridged Audio - Autobiography/Biography    8. United States    9. Non-Classifiable   

Reviews (6)

Great book, wow
All i can say, it is a great book that everyone should read.thanks, chris.

Brilliant, insightful, seminal
This book was written a decade ago, and a final updated chapter was added last year.It is a fascinating look at the state of Queer America in the late 80's and early 1990's. More important, it is a powerful exploration of the devestating effects of the "closet" in the centers of power, especially Washington and Hollywood.
Eye opening and enlightening
Never before did I have such a strong understanding of how the media and America's major power structures work until I read this book. In his unapoletic confrontational (and even gutsy) style, Signorile has stared down the actors, directors, politicians, writers, etc who'd prefer to sit silent as queers are beaten, taunted,denied housing,equal protection; as queers are denied their right exist. One of the most fascinating sections is the one on the New York power structure (I especially like the chapter explaining how ACT UP was created, from the grassroots up). If theres anything I disliked about this book, it's that too often Signorile contradicts his own beleifs: there are way too many times when instead of exposing gay public figures as gay, he allows them to remain anonymous. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Coming out (Sexual orientation    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Gay Studies    4. Gay liberation movement    5. Gender Studies    6. Homosexuality    7. Outing (Sexual orientation)    8. Social Science    9. Sociology    10. United States    11. Gay & Lesbian studies    12. Media studies    13. Social Science / Lesbian Studies    14. USA   

Reviews (2)

Hot!
This talented writer expresses her poetry in both Spanish and English in a creative, vivid way. Her prose is strong yet beautiful,sort of like a mix of tulips and iron.There are three Latina women writers that I consider the best in their field: 1) Achy Obejas (Memory Mambo,etc) 2) Tatiana de la Tierra (este libro!) and 3) a bilingual children's book writer, Mayra L. Dole (Drum,Chavi,Drum!/Tcoa,Chavi,Toca!). The three writers (Achy writes brilliant/fascinating novels, De la Tierra is the GODDESS OF LESBO LOVE, and Dole has vibrant prose and incorporates strong girl Latino characters in her picturebook)are in a league of their own.We need more Latino women writers,who write about the Latino experience, for a wide variety of starved audiences, from the young to the elderly...It is amazing to have found three sensational writers this years! Latina Lesbian Sizzle with a Kick
This is a fiery hot collection of lesbian delights, dripping with sensual intellect and an irreverent charm that will have you squirming, laughing and grinning from ear to ear.It is the kind of book you want to read out loud to your lover, ex-girlfriend, and every other dyke you know, a book that will call to you in your sleep and have you fondling its pages over and over again.These tightly bound short poetic jewels possess a sizzling wit and shameless wantonness.This book is divided into English and Spanish, and throughout the text you see an agility and deftness in both languages that is rare in bilingual editions.This book is a must-have for every one who has tried to define what makes lesbians so bold, sexy, infuriating and captivating.Gozalo! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    2. Fiction - General    3. Gay & Lesbian    4. General    5. Identity    6. Lesbianism    7. Lesbians    8. Literary Criticism    9. Miscellanea    10. Philosophy    11. Spanish: Adult Nonfiction   

Editorial Review

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Reviews (19)

Excellent Guidebook - You Won't Feel So Alone
Of all the books I have read pertaining to coming out, this is without a doubt the most informative and useful guide avaliable for the entire family.A friend suggested I read it after she came out to me and I'm very glad that I did.If you really want to understand the entire process of realizing you are gay all the way through coming out and beyond, you need to read this book.
A good guide, and bio but
This is a good "double" book--a coming out guide and a biography of Chastity Bono in one. Written in a straight-forward, clear manner and peppered with interviews from other out gays and lesbians, "Family Outing" is ultimately eye-opening and supportive. Much-needed Resource and Guide
It is a shame that this book, along with Betty DeGeneres' "Love, Ellen" book, weren't available 20-30 years ago. These books could have saved thousands of gays and lesbians and their parents much pain and anguish. Coming out is never easy, but this book and Betty's can help to serve as a great starting point. Chastity talks about her own coming-out process; most importantly, she includes coming-out testimonies from ordinary, every-day folks. Sensitively written, this book is a valuable tool. To those who cannot bring themselves to disclose, buy this book for help and guidance. To those who cannot bring themselves to accept, buy this book (and Betty's too), and become enlightened. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Biography & Autobiography    2. Biography/Autobiography    3. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    4. Family Relationships    5. Gay Studies    6. Gay men    7. Gender Studies    8. Lesbian Studies    9. Lesbians    10. Rich & Famous    11. Sociology    12. United States    13. Biography & Autobiography / Rich & Famous   

Subjects:  1. Coming out (Sexual orientation    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Homosexuality   

Reviews (1)

Hear Me Out
"Hear Me Out" kind of goes off into two seperate directions right when you read the title.'Hear me out', let me explain that I am one of you, a human.And 'Hear me [come] out', this is what I have had to go through.
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Subjects:  1. Children's 12-Up - Sociology    2. Children's Books/Young Adult Social Situations    3. Children: Young Adult (Gr. 7-9)    4. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    5. Gay teenagers    6. Homosexuality    7. Juvenile Nonfiction    8. Juvenile literature    9. Reference - General    10. Social Issues - Homosexuality    11. Social Situations - Homosexuality    12. Gays & Lesbians    13. Personal issues   

Features

• Illustrated

Subjects:  1. Coming out (Sexual orientation    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    3. Gay Studies    4. Identity    5. Lesbian Studies    6. Lesbians    7. Social Science    8. Sociology    9. COMING OUT (SEXUAL IDENTITY)    10. Social Science / Gay Studies    11. The self, ego, identity, personality   

Reviews (1)

Excitement of a New Palmer
LOGICALOGICS may be Ronald Palmer's first book of poems, but it has the assurance and swagger of one who's been around the block and up and down the waterfront more than once.We've been needing a poet like Palmer for as long as I can remember, and if he hadn't existed, it would have been necessary for one of us, or a committee, to invent him.A poet who is comfortable with politics and sex as he is with Blanchot and Wittgenstein, and who seems to have diverted streams of Language-centered poetry into the spurting stream of spoken word and performance derived, oral-based, shamanic diagetics, Ronald Palmer has the real thing going on, and his book is the answer to a maiden's dream in more ways than one would have thought possible.
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Subjects:  1. American - General    2. American Contemporary Poetry    3. Coming out (Sexual orientation    4. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    5. Gay Studies    6. Gay youth    7. Poetry    8. Problem families