Reviews (15)

A Gentle, Practical, Extremely Valuable Book Handling a Sensitive Subject
*****
Letter Written to the Author
Hi Joanne,
Struggling with these issues? This is an excellent resource.
This is the most well organized & readable book I've found on this topic.
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Subjects:  1. Bisexual women    2. Lesbian Studies    3. Lesbians    4. Married women    5. Psychology    6. Social Science    7. Sociology    8. Social Science / Lesbian Studies   

Editorial Review

The closer a secret is kept, the more powerful the impact once it is finally revealed. Such is the case with author and activist J.L. King's intriguing look at the lives and lifestyles of black men who sleep with other men but do not consider themselves to be gay. These men live "on the down low," the "DL" for short, and their sexual activities have gained significant notice as the rate of HIV/AIDS infection in black women has skyrocketed, with the vast majority of cases coming from heterosexual sex. King is a veteran of the DL himself and his book serves partly as a social and psychological survey of the other men he has surveyed and partly as highly candid memoir. King was well regarded in his community, popular at his church, successful in his career, and married to a woman who had no idea that his secret life existed. But when she caught him in a lie and with another man, the marriage collapsed and King's long and painful path to self-awareness began. King cites the negative image many socially conservative black men have of homosexuality as an obstacle to those men being honest with their partners and themselves about who they are. Among the more intriguing elements of Read more

Reviews (148)

Oh he11 no
This book be a load o bull****. First off if you sleep with men and you a man, your a fa****, and thats all there is to it. And if your a fa**** with a woman, have some decency and respect, to let her know and get the he11 out of her life, instead of commitin murder by killing her with aids. And on another note; I dont know if its just me, but it seems like the author trying to say the only down low f***s is black guys, so I guess he's never been to the village on west 4th in NY city.

Christine, psychologists
This book is the other version of Forbidden Love with a Married Man by Dennis Schleicher, which it is a 'must read' for all. His memoir is groundbreaking along with cutting edge, a first of its kind...

low down man
Mr.King is a low down man.He wants the world to know or thinks he is righteous by far.As the old saying goes"John stayed in the army".Which was not long.The book aboutAIDS statisics was informative but not fully true.
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Subjects:  1. African American bisexual men    2. African American men    3. Attitudes    4. Black American Sociology    5. Ethnic Studies - African American Studies - General    6. Gay Studies    7. Health & Fitness    8. Health/Fitness    9. Human Sexuality    10. Love / Sex / Marriage    11. Men's Health    12. Men's Studies - Masculinity    13. Psychology    14. Sex Roles (Sociological Aspects)    15. Sexual behavior    16. Sexuality    17. Sociology    18. Health & Fitness / Men's Health   

Reviews (22)

Interesting `How To' and `What With' Manual (3.5*s)
One could wonder if there is a need for this book? The author makes no attempt to supply any data concerning how widespread the desire or practice is for straight girls wanting to engage with other females. Her data collection seems to be rather limited - hardly scientific. In any event, the book is interesting and informative.
overhyped and basically useless
Ok lets get down to why you should save your money and NOT get this book. First of all the author dedicates two or three chapters on WHY chicks should sleep with chicks. Well if your buying this book then I would think that your already curious or interested, correct? Then the author shares some really great "secrets" on the where and how to pick up other chicks, let me take the time to write some of them down here for you, first this no brainer, "Get them intoxicated, and my all time favorite,"take them behind a dumpster and get them to smoke weed". The author then fills the book up with helpfull hints like, "go put an ad on the internet"Dang, I would have never thought of that!! In summary, you can buy this book if you want, but don't expect anything other than common sense stuff, and I use the term VERY lightly!! Thank you for your time.

Women, don't let this book poison your mind
It's trying to turn straight women into leabians. If more women read this book they will just be influnce by it and start sleeping with women and no more men will have a woman. Don't Jen Sincero even cares about men. I hate lesbians cause they hate men. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Bisexuality    2. Family & Relationships    3. Family/Marriage    4. General    5. Lesbian Studies    6. Lesbianism    7. Love / Sex / Marriage    8. Sex instruction for women    9. Sexual behavior    10. Sexuality    11. Topic - Relationships    12. Women    13. Birth control, contraception, family planning    14. Family & Relationships / General   

Reviews (24)

Doom for married bisexuals
I came out to my husband five years before he read this book. He didn't believe I was bisexual, but the more often I tried to talk to him about the issue, the further he would shut down. Eventually, he read this book and decided that our marriage was doomed, despite that we had been together for close to twelve years at the time. Our marriage would have been possible to salvage if he'd not read this, bought the propaganda that being married to a bisexual was a disaster, and actually attempted to communicate about the issues both of us were having.
Life saving reading
No one ever expects to hear the words I heard my husband of 11 years say when he sat me down last January and told me he was gay. We had been together for nearly 16 years and have two young children. I was devistated. I went through (and am still going through) extreme emotional rollercoaster girations that left me dizzy. I felt every emotion nearly everyday. I didn't know which way was up. I didn't know what to do, who to talk to, who to trust. Trust was the first thing I started challenging in my day to day life. Friends, family, coworkers... any one I met I wondered if they too were lying to me. It was a destructive mind set that I eventually, through the help of counseling, got over. Like the book mentions, there is a moment when the strait spouse feels they've been pushed into the closet. Hiding what they know from everyone, pretending things are normal. Having been there, I can attest that that was a very scary time and this book did help me get through that and helped me rescue myself from the closet. 8 months later, I'm in my own house, feeling the freedom to have my own routine, getting on with my life, and we're divorsed but still friends. Most importantly, we're both happier now that we have been for several years. The kids have come first through this whole ordeal and we have managed to keep them on track that there is no shame in who their father is. We still do things as a family, after all, we got divorced from each other not the kids. we even do things as a big happy family with my ex and his partner. The kids seem to have adjusted pretty well so far, but I know the road is long and we've just started the journey.
I'm disappointed
As a friend, I know that Jennifer left a LOT out of her book. Like, the fact that their marriage broke up before her husband came out of the closet. She never mentions the Mormon Church, yet they were very active in it; her husband decided to leave the Church, and that was when they separated. While they were separated, they BOTH started dating. Then, her ex admitted that he was dating a man.
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Subjects:  1. Bisexuality in marriage    2. Coming out (Sexual orientation    3. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    4. Family Relationships    5. Gay Studies    6. Gender Studies    7. Health & Fitness    8. Health/Fitness    9. Homosexuality    10. Lesbian Studies    11. Married people    12. Sexuality    13. United States    14. Coping with personal problems    15. Health & Fitness / Sexuality    16. Separation & divorce   

Reviews (37)

Well Put!
This book was the first book I've ever read on threesomes. Being a Threesome Expert Myself I have to admit that this book is a good "beginners book".

A Woman's Guide to Bisexuality and Bi-Curiosity
I had read this book years ago. But I recently revisited it to see if my perspectives on it had changed.And you know what?They had!
Eye opener and well worth the advice
My girlfriend and I read this book and found if very informative.Well worth the advice.Read it with a friend and have some fun!!!! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Love & Romance    2. Love & Romance    3. Group sex    4. Bisexual women    5. Family & Relationships    6. Sexuality    7. United States    8. Sex in marriage    9. Sexual behavior   

Reviews (21)

An eye-opening journey down the rabbit hole!
Reading Alice in Genderland, one cannot help but be struck by the courage, intelligence, and generosity of its author. What a riveting tale! I could scarcely put it down. This is a memoir like no other.
a thinking t,girls book
When i first saw this book advertised on amazon,i thought it would be the nomal collections of anecdotes,photos, and tales of a t.girls relationship with her own world.
Simply Fantastic
I really could not put the book down.It was very informative and enlightening, and maybe helped me to understand myself a little bit more and put things into perspective.Alice's experiences have mirrored some of my own and my friend's in a way that is somewhat mind boggling. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Biography & Autobiography    2. Biography / Autobiography    3. Biography/Autobiography    4. Interpersonal Relations    5. Personal Memoirs    6. Biography & Autobiography / Personal Memoirs    7. Biography: general    8. Family & Relationships-Interpersonal Relations    9. Marriage & relationships    10. Transvestites    11. Gender Studies    12. Transvestism    13. Bisexuality   

Reviews (15)

Assumptions, Lies, Deliberate Reality Gaps and Wishful Thinking
The stuff contained in this book ranges, as the saying goes, from the ridiculous to the sublime. Mr. Miner states a great deal of what he says as if it is fact, rather than merely his (very wishful) opinion. He says, for instance, that "Lot knew the men of Sodom much better than any of today's fundamentalist preachers do. And it's obvious he believed the crowd outside his door was predominantly heterosexual. Why else would he offer his daughters?" It is NOT "obvious" at all that the crowd was predominantly heterosexual. The author conveniently leaves out the very distinct and far MORE obvious possibility that a great many of the people of Sodom were BIsexual, in which case, offering them his daughters, despicable as it was, would have made plenty of sense. Note, please, that even though my argument makes far more sense than what the author says, I am here using the terms "could have" and "possibility," whereas the author of this book states his case as if everything he is saying isfactual. Mr. Miner says elsewhere that "Since the Middle Ages, Christian theologians have viewed this story as a blanket condemnation of homosexuality. They have perpetuated the idea that Sodom was destroyed for its sexual wickedness and that the proof of this wickedness was the desire of the men of Sodom to have homosexual sex." Mr. Miner is again stating his opinion as if it is fact. In fact, Sodom was not destroyed only because of sexual perversion, but rather, as Paul says in the New Testament, because the Sodomites TOOK PRIDE in their perversions. Note, please, for instance, that today's homosexuals are participating in yearly "Gay Pride" Parades. It is true the Bible does not say that homosexuality is a worse sin than adultery, incest or murder, but nowhere in the world that I know of is anyone yet holding yearly "Adultery Pride" or "Incest Pride" or "Murderer Pride" parades.
Encouraging, sound review of Scripture
This book was a Godsend for me. I grew up in a faith that was very condemning of the feelings I quite naturally experienced. As a result, I was very unhappy for years, even marrying and divorcing as a result. After my divorce, while searching for guidance, I happened upon this book and found the answers I had sought for so many years. The authors make a logical, reasoned argument for their affirming position that addresses common points of contention for people of faith. My only complaint is the somewhat hoky writing style that seems to be a way of making the book as casual and conversational as possible. However, this is a vast improvement over the other books that I have read, which are so steeped in intellectual dissection and examination that they confused me and left me with no "ammo" for later discussions. This book lays out understandable evaluations of Scripture that are easy to understand and even easy to recall during later discussions. Thank God for this book! It said all the things I knew but couldn't articulate.

God loves and blesses us all
This is a detail review of both the condeming and affirming references to Same-sex Relationships in the bible.
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Subjects:  1. Bible - Study - General    2. Christianity - Christian Life - Sexuality    3. Religion    4. Religion - Biblical Studies    5. Religion / Christian Life    6. Sexuality & Gender Studies    7. Social Science / Gay Studies    8. Bisexuality    9. Christian life    10. Christianity    11. Gay Studies    12. Homosexuality    13. Homosexuality and Christianity    14. Religious aspects    15. Social Science   

Reviews (16)

Definately a better read than J.L. King's book
Instead of sensationalizing the issue, I felt Mr. Boykin was aiming to educate people about homosexuality in black America instead of entertaining the masses. Great book!

Mixed Feelings
"Beyond the Down Low" by Keith Boykin is a great accumulation of background information on the topics of blacks, gays, HIV and AIDS, and their interdependence in American society. As Keith Boykin has seen and achieved a great number of things in his life, he can provide an expert look at facts from different perspectives.
Take it or leave it
I've just finished reading Boykin's book, "Beyond the Down Low."While I find it well written and his observations often on point, I come away from reading the final paragraph thinking, "So what?"
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Subjects:  1. African American bisexual men    2. Attitudes    3. Black American Sociology    4. Ethnic Studies - African American Studies - General    5. Ethnic Studies - African American Studies - Lifest    6. Gay Studies    7. Human Sexuality    8. Men's Studies - General    9. Psychology    10. Sex Relations    11. Sexual behavior    12. Social Science    13. Sociology    14. Social Science / African-American Studies   

Subjects:  1. Family & Relationships    2. Family/Marriage    3. Gender Studies    4. Human Sexuality    5. Love & Romance    6. Love / Sex / Marriage    7. Sexuality    8. Bisexuals    9. Psychology & Psychiatry / Human Sexuality   

Subjects:  1. Bisexuals    2. Gays    3. Handbooks, manuals, etc    4. Human Sexuality    5. Lesbians    6. Mental health    7. Psychology    8. Psychotherapy - General   

Reviews (3)

A fascinating introduction to bisexual feminism
In "Bi Lives: Bisexual Women Tell Their Stories ", Kata Orndoff interviews a diverse group of bisexual women about their sexual identities and experiences, challenging the bigotry and myths perpetuated by both the radical right and sadly enough, certain elements of cultural feminism. How does biphobia manifest itself in the lives of bisexual women? Just as bi men have been scapegoated for transmitting hiv/aids into the female heterosexual population, bisexual women have been similarly blamed for bringing hiv/aids into the lesbian community (an insidious variation of the 1970's idea of bisexual women contaminating the lesbian community with "male energy".) Moreover, bisexual women are often told that they are actually confused lesbians (or confused heterosexuals), that they are lesbians trying to maintain some level of heterosexual privilege, that they are anti-feminist for sleeping with men, or that their bisexuality is an expression of "false consciousness" which could be overcome with the proper lesbian feminist indoctrination. As independent female sexuality is generally demonized in our sexist, erotophobic society, bisexual women are furthermore simply dismissed or pathologized.For feminists, lgbt activists, bi-curious individuals, and bisexual allies interested in issues of female sexual autonomy, this is an interesting text. Especially useful are the safer sex guidelines provided by Robyn Ochs. That said, I do wish that Orndoff would have interviewed at least one bisexual transgendered woman, but despite this oversight, this is anyway a compelling and informative sociological study.

Interesting reading.....
I enjoyed this book quite a bit.The questions were a bit repetative, butthat wasnt necessarily Bad, as the reader gets to see how different eachwoman's answers were. Think Bisexuality is Easily Defined?
In this book, I discovered the various ways women define their bisexuality: some by the capability of loving people regardless of gender, some by being attracted to people of either gender, and some by experience. It also showed that bisexuality is not a "new" thing, as manywould have us believe.The ages of these women range from 21 to (if Irecall correctly) late 50's.One woman is handicapped, two others are in athree-way marriage (to each other, with a man), one identifies as a lesbian(though acknowledges that she is attracted to both sexes) and doesn't trustwomen who identify strongly as bisexual.If you want to see the entirerainbow of sexuality, read this book.If you want to have your sexualityaffirmed, read this book.If you are just plain curious . . . read thisbook. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Alternative Sexual Behavior    2. Bisexual women    3. Bisexuality    4. Identity    5. Interviews    6. Lesbian Studies    7. Sociology    8. Sociology Of Women    9. Women's Studies - General    10. Bisexuals    11. Gender studies    12. Social Science / Gay Studies   

Subjects:  1. Bisexuals    2. Gay Studies    3. Gay men    4. Gay/Lesbian Nonfiction    5. Homosexuality    6. Lesbians    7. Politics - Current Events    8. Politics / Current Events    9. Public Policy - Social Services & Welfare    10. Sexual orientation    11. Social Science    12. Social Welfare Services For Special Classes    13. Social Work    14. Social work with gays    15. Gay & Lesbian studies    16. Social Science / Gay Studies   

Subjects:  1. Behavior Therapy    2. Bisexuals    3. Clinical Psychology    4. Cognitive Therapy    5. Counseling of    6. Gay Studies    7. Gays    8. Lesbians    9. Mental health    10. Psychology    11. Psychology & Psychiatry / Clinical Psychology    12. Psychotherapy   

Subjects:  1. Bisexual youth    2. Developmental - Adolescent    3. Developmental - General    4. Gay Studies    5. Gay youth    6. Human Sexuality    7. Lesbian youth    8. Psychology    9. Social Psychology    10. United States    11. Adolescents    12. Child & developmental psychology    13. Family & relationships    14. Gay & Lesbian studies    15. Psychology & Psychiatry / Human Sexuality    16. Psychology | Sexuality    17. Sexual behaviour    18. The self, ego, identity, personality   

Reviews (5)

The best of its Kind!
I am a bisexual husband. i have been married four times, and each time i have tried to explain my proclivities to my wives, but they just don't get it. Maybe if they read this book they'd understand. i highly recommend this book.

When Husbands Come Out of the Closet
An absolute 'must read' for anyone in the field of social work or public health or questioning minds interested in justice and peace of mind about their or their partner's sexuality.Everyone, especially those who need to begin their search for equality and reality would benefit from this book.Social Workers need to get a handle on this book in order to provide the best possible information on this little talked about subject.This is definitely in line with the NASW's Code of Ethics.This book gives society an idea of how to address this complex psychosocial issue with compassion and justice.

A wonderful support for wives
This book has been wonderful.It opened up communciations between myself and my husband.He told me and we read this together.I don't know if we'll end up divorced or still married.But this book gives me a degree of hope.And it can help you stay the best of friends in a most difficult time.It really does state my feelings.I am not the only one and this is a real issue.It's unfortunate that wives like us are left with so little help and understanding.Our husbands have support systems, but we need them too.I hope this book helps others.It has helped me see how I feel and that I'm not alone.I just currently don't know the outcome yet... ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Bisexuality in marriage    2. Gay Studies    3. Gender Studies    4. Marriage    5. Social Science    6. Sociology    7. Sociology - Marriage & Family    8. United States    9. Women's Studies - General   

Editorial Review

Although Read more

Reviews (6)

Satisfaction
There is something for every woman is this book. rather you're lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual. it is one of my all time favorites. I was really struggling with my sexuality when i came across this book. It helped me to understand that i wasn't alone out there, and that every women deserves satisfaction sexually just as men do in our society today.

on being different
i'm now more than halfway thru "A Woman Like That:Lesbian and Bisexual Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories".i had bought it expecting (and hoping) it to be racy.but, there's very little raciness in it.
Lovely, thoughtful read
I don't know if I can say enough good things about this book. I really, really, really liked it. It contains a sundry of coming out stories of all different types from a variety of different people with different backgrounds. I really enjoyed it. It took me a couple of days of reading to get through as it is not an easy read. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Biography    2. Bisexual women    3. Gay Studies    4. Intellectual life    5. Lesbian Studies    6. Lesbians    7. Social Science    8. Sociology    9. United States    10. Women As Authors (American Literature)    11. Women authors, American    12. Gay & Lesbian studies   

Reviews (17)

Is it for me?
I am honestly questioning my sexuality every day and I wanted to read a book or something that would give me an assurance as to what I am - Straight, Bi, or Lesbian?
Historical book still relevant today!
This ground breaking book gave voice to a generation of previously unseen bisexuals.Rather than arguing statistics or debating the sexuality of long dead celebrities, Hutchins and Ka'ahumanu gave a space to normal bisexuals who told their lives.
Love sees no gender!
For any of you who do not already self-identify as pansexual or bi, this ground-breaking, multicultural, pro-feminist, bisexual reader will make you re-examine your monosexuality. Through the use of personal narratives, the writers explore such issues as: the process of coming out, the bi community, self-affirmation,the politics of bisexual liberation and biphobia amongst heterosexuals, lesbians and gay men. For too long, biphobia and transphobia have fragmented the queer community. Just as white supremacy is used by the ruling-class to divide workers, transphobia and biphobia prevent us from being a truly powerful force against the patriarchy. In short, this wonderful book is a welcolme addition to Third Wave feminist discourse on sexual fluidity and radical queer activism. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Bisexuality    2. Gay Studies    3. Gender Studies    4. Lesbian Studies    5. Psychology    6. Sex Relations    7. Sociology    8. United States    9. Gay & Lesbian studies    10. Social Science / Lesbian Studies   

Editorial Review

Despite the flood of sexuality theory and queer cultural studies in 20th-century academia, bisexuality--and the many questions and problems surrounding it--has been little considered. In Read more

Reviews (4)

An amazing book
. . . that covers an amazing variety of times, cultures, beliefs, and ideas.It does all that without becoming unwieldy.Indeed, it touches on most of the prominent gender/sexuality theorists while remaining approachable to readers who haven't heard their names-a true feat!At the same time, it is an impressive work of literary and cultural scholarship that stands with Judith Butler's Gender Trouble and Monique Wittig's A Straight Mind as some of the most mind- and gender-bending work of the late 20th century.

A very detailed history - but perhaps overdetailed in places
This book is a comprehensive look at bisexuality in human culture, from ancient history to the present day.In particular, it looks at how bisexuality has been written out of history and excluded from study -- from the myth of Tiresias and triangular relationships in ancient Greece, through to modern-day movie stars and their closet bisexuality. Beyond Words almost
This book affects me daily.It asks me: to probe deep inside my mind for the why.It asks me: what my actions will mean to what labels I have chosen.It asks me: to refine and/or reject certain ways I once thought about historical people.It preaches nothing and for that I am thankful. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Alternative Sexual Behavior    2. Bisexuality    3. Gay Studies    4. Gay/Lesbian Nonfiction    5. Gender Studies    6. Human Sexuality    7. Social Science    8. Sociology    9. Gay studies (Gay men)    10. Psychology & Psychiatry / General    11. Sexual behaviour   

Reviews (2)

Seminal reading for the bisexual male
BI MEN is an excellent, wide-ranging introduction to the bi male psyche. Despite its somewhat scholastic format (it was published as a double issue of the Journal of Bisexuality, and the publisher retained elements such as chapter keywords and abstracts usually not present in trade books), is a moving collection of coming-out stories by bi men from a wide variety of perspectives, as well as several non-bi male contributions. As in most anthologies, there is some unevenness in quality of writing, but overall the book is quite readable and successful in its attempt to present the actual lived experience of the bi man in all its complexity.

Male Version of "Closer to Home"
The chapters in this anthology are well-edited and not repetitive.One can easily appreciate the individuality, self-searching, and insight of these men.I love my monosexuality, but I can accept that these men call themselves bisexual.
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Subjects:  1. Bisexual men    2. Bisexuality    3. Coming out (Sexual orientation)    4. Gay Studies    5. Gender Studies    6. Social Science    7. Sociology    8. Bisexuals    9. Sex & sexuality   

Subjects:  1. Attitudes    2. Bisexual men    3. Bisexuality in marriage    4. Case studies    5. Gay Studies    6. Gay men    7. Gender Studies    8. Marriage    9. Social Science    10. Sociology    11. Sociology - Marriage & Family    12. Bisexuals    13. Gay studies (Gay men)